Is Your Retirement Killing You? Posted on March 9, 2018March 9, 2018 by Peter Meadows Your retirement may be killing you. Here’s a survival plan. You would expect the end of full-time work would bring a guarantee of inner health and happiness. That saying ‘goodbye’ to the daily grind could only be a positive experience. If only. Instead, large numbers entering the joys of ‘after work’ find themselves unwell either physically or emotionally. The reason is stress. And stress can be a killer. Yet isn’t stress what we think we’ve escaped from? No longer being driven to do more with less, bombarded with constant information, while surrounded with life’s constant pressures. Yet the very act of moving from work to after-work – with all the changes involved – can be a major stress inducer. And the outcome for too many is an increase of everything from high blood pressure to heart disease, panic attacks to depression. What is stress? A useful definition of ‘stress’ is – ‘The changes that take place in your body and mind when a demand seems greater than your ability to cope’. At the centre is what’s known as ‘fight or flight’. Faced with such a challenge, our bodies automatically spring into action. Muscles tense, the heart pumps blood to where it is more useful, and a wide range of hormones shoot into the bloodstream to give the added energy, strength and resources that may be needed. Of itself, that’s good news. The bad news – when stress becomes distress – is when there is a constant stream of perceived threats to our wellbeing. And the result is an overload of reaction to ‘fight of flight’. Believe it or not, this is what entering the world or retirement can do to some of us. Something that can lead to both physical and emotional illness. Retirement and stress Research shows the more ‘life-changes’ we have during a short period of time, the more likely stress will take its toll. Such life-changes include the bad – like the death of a loved one, divorce and financial difficulties. And the good – like marriage, a child leaving home and taking a holiday. Up there with the rest of them is ‘retirement’. That’s because this major, and mostly welcome and happy, event presents a large number of threats to our perceived ability to cope. The familiar has gone – replaced with the arrival of new routines, relationships and experiences. Together with the loss of many of those we enjoyed in the past. All inducing stress. More than that, retirement can create a very real sense of bereavement. The associated loss/death of purpose, friendships, routine, and reward can have an impact much like the death of someone we love. In fact, though the impact of retirement may not be as great as being made redundant, it can come close. And if other life-change events are happening around it – children getting married, having babies, ill health, downsizing, etc – the life-changes are multiplied – and so is their impact. How will you know you are a victim? The symptoms of stress can be physical, emotional and behavioural. A few examples are – Physical: Indigestion/heartburn, waking up tired, racing heartbeat, chronic constipation or diarrhoea, persistent headaches. Emotional/mental: Feelings of futility or low self-worth, ‘blue’ moods, unreasonable fears, panic attacks, forgetfulness or confusion. Behavioural: Insomnia, avoiding people, irritability, loss of sense of humour, irrational anger, difficulty in making decisions, misuse of alcohol/coffee, lack of concentration. What can you do to fight back? First, own up to stress as being an issue – either potentially or at the moment. Then pick from these few simple ideas and also check out health sites on the internet for a more comprehensive suggestions. To keep stress at bay Eat a well-balanced diet Exercise regularly Establish sensible sleep habits. Do something enjoyable on a regular basis Take time to be still each day To combat stress when it comes Do all the above, plus – Practise deep relaxation Watch TV that makes you laugh Listen to music Reduce clutter Don’t let decisions hang over you Don’t go it alone but be honest with those close to you Finally, if things don’t get better, seek medical advice – and take it. Peter Meadows Peter uses his retirement to help churches, resource inter-church initiatives, enjoy his eight grandchildren, escape to Spain and spend his kids’ inheritance. For more wisdom, ideas, and resources for your after-work life go to afterworknet.com
10 Smart Ways to Keep Feeling Good When Your Working Life Ends Posted on January 22, 2018February 15, 2018 by Peter Meadows When the P45 is handed over, the pass to the company door is no longer valid, and there’s no one for you to give instructions to or take them from, the penny soon drops. It is that the subtle thing called ‘status’ has also left the building. And for some it can be somewhat unnerving, taking the gloss of what ought to be days of joy. It’s easy to understand why. Once we stood shoulder to shoulder with colleagues. Looked up to those to whom we were responsible. Held accountable those we were responsible for. We were ‘someone’. But now we are on our own. With all that clarity gone. Of all the changes that come ‘after work’, this one impacts us most in terms of how we feel about ourselves. And for many it is not enough to say ‘well at least I now have more time to prune the roses’. So, what’s to be done? The spiritual bit If our sense of personal value and self-worth depends only on our role in life, and the approval of others, then we are missing something. Our status and significance ought to be wrapped up in the God who had us in mind before anything existed, loves us unconditionally and paid the ultimate price to restore our relationship with him. Indeed, our true value can only be measured in the price he was willing to pay for us – the life of his own son. We matter not because others tell us we do. But because God tells us so. Mull on these amazing facts and let them sink in. God would have you know – You are unique Psalm 139.13, You are loved Jeremiah 31.3, You are special Ephesians 2.10, You are precious 1 Corinthians 6.20, You are important 1 Peter 2.9, You are chosen John 15.16, You are mine Isaiah 43.1. That is not the total answer to facing the loss of status that comes when work ends. But it is a vital foundation. The practical bit Those who are happiest in retirement – according to Stewart Friedman, founding director of the Wharton Work/Life Integration Project – are those who do more than just relax, watch TV box sets, travel and walk the dog. They are those who, ‘look to use their talents and passions to make a contribution’. With that in mind, here are ten practical things you can do: 1. Make the change gradually if you can – a slide into ‘after work’ rather than hitting the buffers full-on can be better 2. Don’t fill your time with whatever comes to hand – or what people throw your way. Aim for some clearly defined projects and goals that have an outcome you can see. 3. Get a job or volunteer – ideally part time. The status may well be different but it can still be fulfilling both for the tasks involved and the human contact it brings. 4. Learn a new skill or develop an existing one. A musical instrument? Touch typing? Photography? Line dancing? Computer literacy? The options are vast. 5. Join a project group – a choir, drama company (they need more skills than just actors), environmental group, local political party, etc. 6. Asses how what you were good at in your work life can be used in the context of your church, a Christian agency or your local community. And then look for opportunities. 7. Don’t sign up for rotas in your church simply because you now have the time. Also look for productive roles that draw on your past experience and skills. 8. Identify your skill base and see where it can be used to teach, train, mentor or serve others. 9. Take up an activity. It doesn’t have to be golf, bridge or bowls. Check out badminton, walking football, fishing, boating, swimming, painting, woodwork and more. And, if possible, take lessons so you have a peer group. 10. Start a business. Is there a local niche you can fill? There’s always a need for someone to walk dogs, fix computers and bicycles, watch empty houses. And web-based start-ups are easy and cost little to fund. Finally, try not to figure out your future all on your own. Tap into others who have been this way or are at the same place you are. Peter Meadows Peter uses his retirement to help churches, resource inter-church initiatives, enjoy his eight grandchildren, escape to Spain and spend his kids inheritance. Have you tried any of these practical things? Do you have any tips of your own? Please share your experience with the AfterWorkNet Facebook Group.
