Next year is like a new country – and these 5 wise ‘travel tips’ are not to be missed. Posted on January 2, 2019January 8, 2019 by Jeff Lucas Going into a new year is a lot like taking a journey to another country. In both cases you don’t know exactly what’s ahead. And there are some wise things to keep in mind to make the very best of it. So, as you voyage into 2019, here are 5 rather obvious ‘travel tips’ to make the journey as worthwhile as possible. 1.Be realistic about it. When it comes to holidays, the brochures tend to make it all look far better than the real thing. After all, that’s their job. But we too can wrongly imagine the land of New Year will be significantly different to the one that’s gone before. In reality, nothing magical happens when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st. There’s no Cinderella in reverse to be experienced. And this is one of the hard truths to learn about travel. That, wherever we go, we take ourselves with us. If we’re tetchy, ungrateful, easily irritated, and self-centred, that side of us will still be with us as we journey on. A new country won’t fix it and nor will a New Year. Which means the need to take a realistic account of who we are and what we are like – and doing something about it. 2.Check your baggage weight. I hate that awful moment at airports when the unsmiling check-in person tells me with unwelcome glee that I’m a little overweight. Sure, it’s a relief when I realise this is not personal and is about my luggage. But what excess baggage might you be taking into the year ahead? Bitterness, hatred, shame, regret, jealousy? Or some other unhelpful emotions that will way us down when we are across the border of 2019? These are the weights to leave behind – by forgiving others, forgiving yourself, by recognising that God loves us for who we are. 3.Choose the right travel companions. There’s nothing worse than discovering that someone who’s great for an occasional coffee is a nightmare as a full-on travel companion. So who would we best have at our side in the New Year journey? Will they enrich your life – and give you opportunities to enrich theirs? Will they speak the kind of truth you need to hear and be open for you to do the same for them? Will their positive outlook spur you on or their negativity drag you down? Or think of it this way, who are those you can invest time in, celebrate with, and express love and appreciation for? And how can you make sure they are traveling with you and you with them. 4.Check your destination. There’s the classic story of the airline passenger who ended up in Istanbul when they had bought a ticket to Torquay. (Think about it!) You’ll only have one opportunity to explore 2019 so make sure you get have a ticket for the right destination. This is where having a few simple but clear goals come in. Not overwhelming ones that, in your heart of hearts, you know you’ll flunk in the first few weeks. But a fresh commitment or two on how to make the most of one more precious year in your afterwork stage of life. For a little inspiration, here are three possible areas to explore – Your new possibilities Your health and fitness Your service to others 5.Pack wisely. To be honest, what you take with you may be the least of your worries. That’s because, over the years, you’ve accumulated a storehouse of knowledge, skills, know-how, experience and wisdom. As they say, ‘It’s in the bag’. In which case, having packed it, don’t keep it all to yourself. You can make the coming year more rewarding for you and others by making sure what you’ve packed is put to good use. Ahead is a new land waiting to be enjoyed, explored and enriched. Bon voyage. Jeff Lucas Jeff is still some way from his afterwork years. His passion is to equip the Church with practical bible teaching, marked by vulnerability and humour. And he does so as an international author, speaker and broadcaster. Check him out at Jeff Lucas.
Don’t let retirement scupper your marriage – the 3 top tips for staying afloat. Posted on August 9, 2018August 15, 2018 by Dianne Parsons It’s a massive step to move from hardly seeing each other most daytimes to now being under each other’s feet. Indeed, legions of women – please forgive the stereotype – have been known to mutter between clenched teeth ‘Is he never going out?!!’ That may not be the whole story behind the growing divorce rate among the over 65s. But the very existence of such a trend indicates the challenge retirement can bring to a marriage. That means, when it comes to your own experience of retirement, you dare not be blind to its impact on others. Which is especially true of your life partner. This is no time for a solo voyage, oblivious to the way your new role may be creating waves for our most significant ‘other’. As the saying goes, ‘no man – or woman – is an island’. Our lives are entwined. That’s why those closest to you will have expectations, like – ‘she’ll have more time to spend with me’. And fears – ‘he’ll be under my feet all day’. With so much at stake, here are 3 top tips to help you sail rather than sink. 1. Talk it through! Some couples find situations like this – when major change is involved – fairly easy to work out. Meanwhile, others only get there after an explosion of built-up frustration. Whichever it may be for you in your relationship, a planned ‘let’s talk this through’ session – perhaps over a meal – is where to start. On the agenda would be items like – Smaller stuff: How are changes in my life going to impact you? What hopes do you have for us when/now I’m retired? What concerns do you have – and what would you like me to do about them? What might we now be able to do together that we couldn’t before? How best can we both find our space, how much time do we want to be apart? Which household chores and responsibilities should now be reassigned? Big stuff: How best can we look out for each other? What new adventures/experiences could we share? What should be on our bucket list? 2. Give each other space The biggest issue to impact your relationship is likely to be the ‘getting under each other’s feet’ one. When something like 200 days a year of being apart comes to a sudden or even a gradual end, readjustment can be a challenge. Of course, what the Bible says is true; ‘It is not good for a man or woman to be alone’. But that’s not meant to be every waking moment. Because of this it would be wise to: Work at developing and enjoying your own individual interests and friendships as well as those you share. Having your own identity is good for you both and will enrich your marriage. Establish separate spaces for each of you at home. There is great wisdom in having the equivalent of a man-shed – for both of you. This can be for anything from hobbies to TV watching. 3. Maintain communication You may well find your retirement impacts you in unexpected ways. There may be the emotional issues linked to stress or your loss of status having left the workplace behind. For more see our website under Stress and Loss of Status. When our emotions are hit, the temptation is to bottle it all up – especially for man. But that can then have an impact on your partner. These things can be hard to talk about or even own up to. But your other half deserves to know what’s going on and have the opportunity to love and support you through it. So honest conversation is vital for a safe and enjoyable voyage into the future. Dianne Parsons – Care for the Family Dianne has been an integral part of Care for the Family’s ministry over many years, alongside husband Rob, and speaking and writing with great empathy for women about marriage and family life. Have you found a way to enrich your marriage in retirement? Do share it by joining our Facebook group and signing up for our inspiring blog
The ultimate dos and don’ts for a good night’s sleep Posted on February 12, 2018November 28, 2018 by Peter Meadows The struggle for a good night’s sleep is not age specific. But it often increases in later life. Why can ageing make it harder to get to sleep and to stay that way? One theory is it’s all in the brain. That neurons regulating our sleep slowly die as we get older. As a result, the brain fails to pick up the ‘time to sleep’ signals. And it matters, because getting enough sleep is as vital as healthy eating and getting exercise. Here are just three things a lack of sleep can do to you – Increase your appetite – and thus your waistline, damage your health – including causing pre-diabetes Impair your immune function – more colds Reduce your ability to interact socially – by making you irritable, lessening your ability to concentrate and think clearly What can be done to help you get the zzzzzzzs you need? Here come 20 do’s and 10 don’ts to speed your journey to the land of nod. 20 ways to get a better night’s sleep For the best results, work at the following over a period of time. You may need two to four weeks to see the best results. Go to bed only when sleepy. Use the bed only for sleeping — and that other thing. If you can’t sleep, move to another room. Stay up until you feel sleepy and then return to bed. If sleep does not come get out of bed again. The aim is to associate your bed with falling asleep easily. Repeat this as often as necessary throughout the night. Set the alarm and get up at the same time every morning, regardless of how much you have slept through the night. Take some exercise in the late afternoon or early evening. Drink herbal tea. Get a massage. Try consuming foods just before bed time that have tryptophan — like turkey, bananas, salmon, cherry juice, Cocoa. Sleep on a good firm bed. Don’t sleep in. Spend 20 minutes in a hot bath not long before going to bed. Keep the room temperature as constant as you can. Drink a glass of warm milk — as milk contains an amino acid that converts to a sleep-enhancing compound in the brain. Use simple relaxation and mind clearing exercises. Keep a note pad by the bed to write down things that come to mind that you worry you might forget. Go to bed at the same time each day. Get regular exercise each day. Keep the bedroom quiet when sleeping – and use a good make of ear plugs. Keep the bedroom dark enough. Use dark blinds or wear an eye mask if needed. When you go to bed, relax your muscles, beginning with your feet and working your way up to your head. 10 things not to do before going to bed Don’t exercise just before going to bed. Do not nap excessively during the daytime. Avoid ‘trying to sleep’. Avoid illuminated bedroom clocks. Don’t watch a computer or tablet screen for the period leading up to going to sleep Don’t stimulate your mind just before bedtime through things like playing a competitive game of cards or watching an exciting TV programme. Avoid caffeine. Remember caffeine is present in chocolate, as well as regular coffee or tea, and caffeinated soft drinks. Don’t read or watch television in bed. Don’t use alcohol to help you sleep. Don’t take another person’s sleeping pills. For a bigger picture on the issue of sleep, including chronic insomnia, go to our web page on Sleep. With the way life can be for some having an impact on sleep, check out our web page on Stress. Peter Meadows Peter uses his retirement to help churches, resource inter-church initiatives, enjoy his eight grandchildren, escape to Spain and spend his kids inheritance. Do you have a tip on how to get a better night’s sleep? Please join the AfterWorkNet Facebook community and tell us.
10 Smart Ways to Keep Feeling Good When Your Working Life Ends Posted on January 22, 2018February 15, 2018 by Peter Meadows When the P45 is handed over, the pass to the company door is no longer valid, and there’s no one for you to give instructions to or take them from, the penny soon drops. It is that the subtle thing called ‘status’ has also left the building. And for some it can be somewhat unnerving, taking the gloss of what ought to be days of joy. It’s easy to understand why. Once we stood shoulder to shoulder with colleagues. Looked up to those to whom we were responsible. Held accountable those we were responsible for. We were ‘someone’. But now we are on our own. With all that clarity gone. Of all the changes that come ‘after work’, this one impacts us most in terms of how we feel about ourselves. And for many it is not enough to say ‘well at least I now have more time to prune the roses’. So, what’s to be done? The spiritual bit If our sense of personal value and self-worth depends only on our role in life, and the approval of others, then we are missing something. Our status and significance ought to be wrapped up in the God who had us in mind before anything existed, loves us unconditionally and paid the ultimate price to restore our relationship with him. Indeed, our true value can only be measured in the price he was willing to pay for us – the life of his own son. We matter not because others tell us we do. But because God tells us so. Mull on these amazing facts and let them sink in. God would have you know – You are unique Psalm 139.13, You are loved Jeremiah 31.3, You are special Ephesians 2.10, You are precious 1 Corinthians 6.20, You are important 1 Peter 2.9, You are chosen John 15.16, You are mine Isaiah 43.1. That is not the total answer to facing the loss of status that comes when work ends. But it is a vital foundation. The practical bit Those who are happiest in retirement – according to Stewart Friedman, founding director of the Wharton Work/Life Integration Project – are those who do more than just relax, watch TV box sets, travel and walk the dog. They are those who, ‘look to use their talents and passions to make a contribution’. With that in mind, here are ten practical things you can do: 1. Make the change gradually if you can – a slide into ‘after work’ rather than hitting the buffers full-on can be better 2. Don’t fill your time with whatever comes to hand – or what people throw your way. Aim for some clearly defined projects and goals that have an outcome you can see. 3. Get a job or volunteer – ideally part time. The status may well be different but it can still be fulfilling both for the tasks involved and the human contact it brings. 4. Learn a new skill or develop an existing one. A musical instrument? Touch typing? Photography? Line dancing? Computer literacy? The options are vast. 5. Join a project group – a choir, drama company (they need more skills than just actors), environmental group, local political party, etc. 6. Asses how what you were good at in your work life can be used in the context of your church, a Christian agency or your local community. And then look for opportunities. 7. Don’t sign up for rotas in your church simply because you now have the time. Also look for productive roles that draw on your past experience and skills. 8. Identify your skill base and see where it can be used to teach, train, mentor or serve others. 9. Take up an activity. It doesn’t have to be golf, bridge or bowls. Check out badminton, walking football, fishing, boating, swimming, painting, woodwork and more. And, if possible, take lessons so you have a peer group. 10. Start a business. Is there a local niche you can fill? There’s always a need for someone to walk dogs, fix computers and bicycles, watch empty houses. And web-based start-ups are easy and cost little to fund. Finally, try not to figure out your future all on your own. Tap into others who have been this way or are at the same place you are. Peter Meadows Peter uses his retirement to help churches, resource inter-church initiatives, enjoy his eight grandchildren, escape to Spain and spend his kids inheritance. Have you tried any of these practical things? Do you have any tips of your own? Please share your experience with the AfterWorkNet Facebook Group.
