Category: Serving

Have you ever thought how valuable your life experience could be to others – especially those coming up behind you? Or that part of God’s plan is to use what you have learned for the benefit and blessing of others?

Please don’t undervalue what you have to offer as the result of the years you have lived and the way God has shaped your life. And remember, one of the great blessings that comes with later years is the wisdom you have accumulated.

With the end of fulltime work, two things come into play. First there’s the knowledge, wisdom and experience you have gathered. Second, there’s the time to use it.

So, when reviewing your post retirement life, think about the new relationships now possible. And how you can enrich others through them.

The posh word is ‘mentoring’ meaning ‘a system of semi-structured guidance whereby one person shares their knowledge, skills and experience to assist others to progress in their own lives and careers.’

But it doesn’t need to be anywhere near as formal as that. Although if those involved understand what’s going on, and are fully committed to the process, it can be of great value.

The concept is not new.

There are many examples of mentoring in the Bible. Joshua served as Moses’ deputy from the Exodus in Egypt to the time of Moses’ death. There must have been a learning process for the young man until he assumed the leading role.

Elisha was coached by Elijah. And Paul was very deliberate in his preparation of Timothy for ministry. As a result, a man known to be timid became the leader of the large church at Ephesus.

It is about generation to generation

In Israel today you would see a clear role for senior members of a family to pass on their wisdom and experience to younger family members.

On a visit to Australia’s Uluru (Ayers Rock) two large slabs of rock were pointed out to me where the tribe’s senior women would gather the younger women to do ‘women’s business’. The men had a similar rock.

So, in many cultural settings like this there seems to be a need to pass on helpful wisdom to those who are younger. Yet I wonder if we have created generational tribes each having no expectation to learn from others or contribute to others. Yet that is not the picture the Bible gives us.

So how can we develop the way things should be in our church communities?

Where to start?

How God has shaped you makes you able to help shape another human being. So in your post retirement plan leave space for at least one new relationship.

You may not think you have anything much to offer but your mentee probably won’t see it that way. Just having someone to talk to outside of their immediate family and workplace can be a life-saver. And if crises come, they have somewhere to go.

So don’t be timid or backward. Trust God to inspire you and open opportunities. Here are 3 ways to get started.

1. Pray for families you know who are trying to bring up their children with all the pressures of family and work.
2. Look out for single people – those in work or not. Ask if there is anything you can pray for in their lives. Make sure you follow it up some time later.
3. Use church social time, like coffee after a service, to start a conversation with someone outside of your age bracket – preferably someone younger. This conversation might be about work and/or family. Just take an interest.

Some of my mentoring relationships have begun simply with a question at the back of church like ‘how’s work going’ or ‘how are the family?’. Sometimes I get the classic Christian response ‘We’re fine’. But not always. And a simple follow up is ‘fancy a drink sometime?’. One word of caution – keep this single sex.

If that informal conversation is as far as it goes, that’s fine. You’ve shown an interest and that may lead to nothing more. But you have offered non-critical friendship to someone who may well come back at a future date. You have also made it known that you do not simply operate in your own age band but are prayerfully interested in younger people.

If the conversation develops into something more, these may be the best steps to take.

1. Offer to meet for a drink/coffee, either in a home in a pub/café, just to catch up from previous chats. Issues that came up in your informal conversations would be a good basis for your discussion.

Lines like these may be good starters

• You told me about your 7-year-old – how’s she doing?
• Are the pressures at work any easier?
• Tell me about your job – it sounds really interesting / boring.

In other words, try to remember the things you were told and bring them up.

2. At the end of the first meeting get some feel as to how the relationship can proceed. Some may say an occasional chat would be good. Establish who will be the initiator – probably not you. Others may say it would be good to meet up on a more regular basis. Make sure the date is fixed.

3. If it is to be more regular then there needs to be something more structured. At this point you are getting close a to a genuine mentor/mentee relationship. You could suggest that next time you look at the Bible together, spend some time in prayer, talk about work, talk about family or any combination of the above.

4. Some would go a stage further and establish negotiated accountability structures. At this point you are probably asking more deep and personal questions. Your church leader should know about any regular meetings you are having.

5. As we are Christians, there should always be some mention of what it means to be a disciple of the Lord Jesus. We should not be afraid to look at helpful portions of the scriptures to point us to Christian values and behaviour.

6. The Bible clearly points us to older/younger relationships that are both healthy and helpful. As we reach retirement years, I would suggest many of us have time to develop this kind of relationship and ought to be doing so.

One final word of caution.

In any conversation, beware of becoming the wise old sage who’s seen it all before and knows the answers to every human problem. Don’t come over as an agony aunt who’s forgotten the question and loves to relate their full life history.

The primary discipline is ‘listening’. Hear what your friend is saying and help them to reflect on their own situation with helpful prompts. In doing all this you may well be helping a man or woman grow more like Jesus Christ – which can’t be bad way to invest your years of active retirement.

Do you have an experience of mentoring to share? Then please do so in response to this blog or on our Facebook page.

If you’ve found this blog helpful please share it using the links below. Thank you.

Dave Fenton is a retired clergyman spending his after-work time lecturing at Moorlands College, building relationships and sharing his faith at his local golf club, and escaping to a cliff-top caravan in Cornwall where his seven grandchildren enjoy the local surfing beach.

At an hour when older people are likely to be safely tucked up in bed, a select number are roaming the streets, armed with flip-flops, peppermints, lollipops and love.

These Good Samaritans are ready, as clubs and pubs spill customers onto the streets of some 300 town and city centres on Friday and Saturday nights. They are Street Pastors and Street Angels – two similar initiatives fulfilling the motto ‘Caring, Listening, Helping’. Though teams are all-age, many volunteers are of retirement age.

This includes Sian Evans who retired looking for more than a weekly stint in the community village shop. Firmly believing ‘God wants us to enjoy what we do’ and eager to show his love practically beyond the church walls, she became a regular Street Angel. Now watching out for young adults in the early hours who may have painted the town of Carmarthen a bit redder than was wise!

Then there’s Andrew Miller, previously a hospital doctor. His workplace departure coincided with an increasing realisation that’ the Kingdom of God is very much about the present, not just the future’. So training as a Street Pastor seemed a great way of being salt and light in his city of Oxford.

Sian, Andrew and their teams go out well prepared. Space blankets for the shivering. Flip flops for previously high-heeled girls now barefoot and at risk from broken glass. Lollipops, remarkably effective in diffusing confrontations.

Plus peppermints. Because standard practice when someone throws up, Andrew explains, is to offer water to swill around and then a peppermint to suck.

They also help by pointing out the nearest cash point; spending time with distressed people; sometimes calling 999 for collapsed/drunk individuals – and recharging mobiles.

Typically, things hot up after midnight. Sian says, ‘My heart goes out to these people.’  She’s often dealt with minor injuries. ‘Once I had to clean a very drunk lady’s face. She’d been hit with a glass and was hurling abuse at passers-by.’

They never finish before 2.30am, often not until 4. But Sian points out, ‘when you’re retired you can lie in as long as you want.’ Each shift covers some ground. Two Oxford volunteers have apps that once recorded walking over seven miles, all at conversation-friendly ambling speed.

And the God-dimension in all this? Sian quotes the verse, ‘For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing’. She says, ‘It’s like the old advert. The savoury smell drifts by and people said ‘Ahh, Bisto’. I think we can be a bit like that.’

Interestingly, Andrew remembers a team member’s similar comment, ‘Tonight we may not have shared Christ’s words, but we spread His aroma’.

For Andrew it’s being like the Good Samaritan who helped someone totally different to himself without telling him what to believe.’ Street Pastors and Angels aren’t there to preach. ‘But we’re often asked who we are, what motivates us’, he says. ‘And how come we’re not paid?’

Is this recommended for others in active retirement? ‘Yes’, assures Sian, ‘It’s for anyone willing to try something a bit different that’s fun and rewarding. You can choose when to serve and being older is useful because when we’re bossy they don’t take offence’

With a smile she adds, ‘Where else are you going to learn how to Floss at 3 o’clock in the morning?’

As a measure of the difference such involvement makes, it’s estimated Street Pastors and Street Angels will save the NHS £13 million during the festive period by diverting drunks from A&E. And Wrexham police saw violent crime and anti-social behaviour halved since the volunteers have patrolled the town centre.

Check out Street Pastors and Street Angels. It could be for you.

Are you a Street Pastor or Street Angels with a story to share? Please do so here or on our AfterWorkNet Facebook group. Thank you.

You can share this blog with others using the links below.

Peter Meadows

Peter is AfterWorkNet’s Programme Director. He’s still working part time in his 70s, helping churches and resourcing inter-church initiatives. This is alongside enjoying his eight grandchildren, escaping to Spain and spending his kids’ inheritance.

There’s a value to being a volunteer that you may have never thought of. I certainly hadn’t – until I saw the impact of Philip, in his 80s, on Jack, a troubled 12 year old.

It was an eye-opener. And I hope it will open your eyes too.

Oasis, the charity I founded and lead, had become responsible for a secondary school on a tough housing estate. Tough enough to have had a long history of having to exclude some of its most troubled and even violent students. Of which Jack was one.

Meanwhile, the elderly Philip was a member of a Methodist church in the same local community; a church which had closed due to declining attendance. However, Oasis had negotiated to use the building as an ‘inclusion base’ from Monday to Friday.

It’s an approach we often use to help students like Jack. Those who have suffered the trauma of neglect; who can’t function in a regular classroom due to their unsocial and sometimes violent behaviour and mood swings.

On offer was ‘sanctuary’ – an alternative educational provision for a small group of the most troubled students needing a calm and soothing environment. Every morning, instead of attending the main school building, they showed up at our new inclusion space.

It was on one of these mornings I dropped in to see how things were going. Where an Oasis staff member introduced me to Jack – who wouldn’t look into my eyes.

Later I learned the young man had a very difficult and complex family background, struggled with sudden mood swings and with a chronic inability to maintain attention.

A few minutes later Philip, a volunteer in his mid-80s, arrived. He came for an hour or so a couple of times a week to help things run smoothly.

I watched intrigued as the anti-social and disruptive Jack sauntered over to meet Philip – someone from an entirely different planet. Philip smiled. The normally surly Jack smiled back. They shook hands and walked off together to the kitchen.

I watched amazed and intrigued as Philip made them both a cup of tea. They sat and chatted for a while. Then wandered to the pool table where Jack set the game out and Philip handed him a cue.

As they played, an Oasis staff member whispered into my ear. ‘Philip’s great player. He will win. The problem is Jack has a history of not being able to cope with defeat. He finds it humiliating. He’s quite capable of switching suddenly and lashing out. But, just you watch.’

And, so it was. Philip – the aged Methodist – potted ball after ball until all that remained was to sink the black for victory. I watched as he hit it perfectly and it gently rolled into a corner pocket.

I waited for the reaction from Jack that seemed inevitable. But it didn’t come.

Instead of flying into a temper, Jack smiled. ‘Well done’, I heard him mutter. Walking round the table, Philip put his arm around the lad’s shoulder and with a smile said, ‘You’re getting good at this – it won’t be long before it’s me having to congratulate you.’

Then, with more tea in hand, they heading for a computer to work on a ‘catch-up’ literacy programme for Jack.

‘It’s just amazing’, our staff member told me. ‘I just can’t believe how far Jack has come in such a short time. It is a miracle.’

But, of course, it wasn’t a miracle. The miracle was Philip together with the reason his interventions were so important and powerful for Jack. The secret was that Philip was a volunteer. An amateur rather than a professional who was there because it was their job.

Before my eyes the penny had dropped.

In Jack’s world the only ones ever to give him any attention were professionals; those who were paid to be with him. Teachers, social workers, youth workers, counsellors and therapists.

But Philip was different. Philip was there – and there consistently – simply because he chose to be. No one was paying him. And that was what had such a huge impact on Jack.

Someone wanted to be with him.

Someone wanted to spend time with him.

Someone had chosen to invest in him. Not for any gain – but just for the sake of it.

For Jack this was transformational. It was literally rewiring his brain; restructuring his thinking. And that’s what can make volunteering so powerful in the lives of those being served.

If you are already a volunteer, then I hope this opens your eyes to the surprising added impact of what you are doing. And, if you have yet to volunteer, here’s one more reason to do so.

Volunteerism is powerful. It is the key to building healthy communities.

The word ‘amateur’, of course, comes from the French and means literally ‘lover of’. It originally refers to someone who pursues an activity simply for to love of it; their motivation being nothing beyond the joy of involvement – and in Philip’s case that was to serve another. Our society desperately needs many more amateurs!

Here, however, is the final twist. As Jesus put it so famously: ‘When you do it for the least of these, you do it for me.’

As an old proverb says, ‘God’s appearance changes. Blessed are those who can recognise him in any disguise’. I know Philip would agree.

Steve Chalke MBE

For links to volunteering opportunities – and some inspiration – see the AfterWorkNet webpages on Volunteering in Your Community. And if you have experiences to contribute, do share them here or with our Facebook group. Thank you.

Steve is a British Baptist minister and the founder of Oasis Charitable Trust which works in 36 UK communities through partnerships, projects, services and initiatives. He enjoys the joy of running and the pain of supporting Crystal Palace football club.

We all know that missionaries serving abroad are making incredible sacrifices. But what if there was a simple way you could ease their load, make their work more fruitful, and their lives more liveable – from right where you are.

Well it’s possible. It’s already happening. And it offers a wonderful way to invest even a small amount of your time and talent.

Can you post a magazine? Drive? Search the internet? Have a spare bed for a night or two? Audio type?

These abilities – and more – are waiting to be used to bless those taking Jesus to the nations. It’s not time-consuming or complicated. But the impact can be significant.

Making this possible is a remarkable Christian charity, MissionAssist. For the past 30-years they have been coordinating home-based volunteers to provide free services for those sent by their church in some aspect of Christian mission.

Sarah J McQuay, MissionAssist’s Director of Services explains, ‘Now nearly 700 volunteers are using their abilities and skills to help those working abroad. Some are able to offer several hours a week and others only one or two. But all are vital in serving world mission and making Jesus known.’

What do you have to offer? The needs are amazingly varied. Everything from posting a magazine to keyboarding and audio typing. Short-term hospitality to researching. Airport pickups to translating. And more.

This even includes more than 100 volunteers keyboarding old and fragile scripture translations to serve a team producing modern digital files for correction and reprinting.

From all the many opportunities waiting for you, let me highlight just three – with some examples of the kind of impact they can make.

Magazine Service

Can you imagine the ‘lift’ a mission worker far from home gets when a copy of their favourite publication arrives by post? Or the joy of their children when a much-missed comic is unwrapped?

MissionAssist link the magazine requests of missionaries with volunteers who can help.

Do you subscribe to, or receive with a membership, any magazine or journal that goes into the paper recycling bin after you have read it?  Would you be willing to post that on instead?

Alternatively, could you take out a subscription specifically so a mission worker or family member could regularly receive what they would really appreciate?

Right now MissionAssist’s waiting list includes children in the Solomon Islands who would love to receive National Geographic Kids. A woman serving in Papua New Guinea who’d welcome Fibromyalgia Magazine. And a paragliding/hang gliding enthusiast in Papua New Guinea longing for Skywings and Cross Country magazines.

It may not seem like much but such gifts are deeply appreciated. Feedback includes –

‘This gift has become a double one. Having read the magazine I then pass them on to an English Language school so their students can enjoy and learn from them. Thank you.’

‘My mailbox was holding two issues of the RSPB magazine Nature’s Home sent by a volunteer. Such a welcome treat.’

Airport Transport

Providing returning mission personnel with transport from an airport is one of MissionAssist’s most valued services.

This is especially true in exceptional circumstances. For example, when a missionary family serving an African country failed to have their visas renewed they had to leave almost immediately.

However, instead of being stranded at Heathrow, a volunteer couple met them, briefly looked after them at home before driving them to friends to stay while arrangements for onward travel were made.

MissionAssist’s volunteer coordinator links advance requests from mission personnel to a volunteer driver in reach of the airport. And there’s an urgent need for more such volunteer drivers. The main demand is for Heathrow – with occasional requests for Gatwick, Luton, Birmingham and Bristol.

It is usual for volunteer drivers to receive a contribution towards their expenses.

The other help for traveling missionaries comes from volunteers providing a Meet and Greet service at airports and train stations. And, again, more are needed to smooth the way by helping with questions, luggage and locating the transport for their onward journey.

Sometimes it’s not just a lone traveller or family in need of help. MissionAssist recently coordinated the arrival of 70 mission conference delegates arriving at various times. Putting them at ease, find the railway station and buy a ticket for their onward journey.

Hospitality

Missionaries back in the UK for a spell sometimes need a place to lay their head for a short time. It might be overnight before a flight, for a few days during a training event, or as a whole family needing a place to stay.

MissionAssist links volunteers to those in need. And for missionaries on a limited income this can be a significant help. As one said, ‘This hospitality is a huge blessing to people like us who can’t afford to stay at a B&B.’’

Such is the demand that more volunteers are needed, especially for London and South East England where the need is greatest – even for those only able to offer a night or two.

But there’s a vision to be able to offer accommodation over the whole of the United Kingdom. So, wherever you live, they would love to hear from you.

Your next step?

There are far more opportunities to help than are listed here. Contact MissionAssist and they will match what you can offer to the needs and opportunities they have waiting.

This is no casual arrangement. MissionAssist volunteers sign an agreement concerning confidentiality and having their data stored. This means they can also be made aware of other opportunities to help as they arise.

If you have a heart for mission and some time and resources to spare this could be a great opportunity. And here’s the link you need – MissionAssist.

Is there a way you are supporting world mission by your actions? Please share it here or with the AfterWorkNet Facebook group. Thank you.

Peter Meadows

Peter is AfterWorkNet’s Programme Director. He’s still working part time in his 70s, helping churches and resourcing inter-church initiatives. This is alongside enjoying his eight grandchildren, escaping to Spain and spending his kids’ inheritance.