What 3 things should every 70 year old avoid if they want to flourish? Posted on June 19, 2020June 19, 2020 by Peter Meadows There are three things no one in their 70s should do to make the best of their years. All three may surprise you. And all three matter. So if you are already past that big birthday, or heading in that direction, here’s some wisdom. But I need to confess it’s not mine but comes from the mind of Retirement and Career Coach Gary Foster. I’m sharing it, first, because it makes sense and, second, in the hope you will not only benefit but check out more of Gary’s rich thinking. You’ll find a link to his blog at the end of this one. What are those three things to shun like the plague when 70 hits you? Gary is an outspoken advocate for living to 100 or beyond – having set his target at 112 ½. So he’s worth listening to and here they come. 1. Avoid most other 70-year olds. Gary admits, ‘That sounds cruel’. And it does because most people in their 70s have a circle of similarly-aged friends they love and cherish. But he backs his view with reason. He points out that many, if not most, 70-year-olds are innocently in the ‘decay mode’ – in terms of their attitude to life and the way their body works. And with that comes a resignation and acceptance of what he calls ‘the myths of automatic senescence and accelerating physical decline’. Or, to put this in my kind of English, too many in their 70s have fallen for the false belief that age offers no choice but to accept the gradual decay of our faculties’. As evidence Gary points to the fact that conversations are often limited to the subjects of health, memory or friends impacted by the same. And talk seldom covers how to maintain and celebrate good health and counter decline with wise practices that should always have been in place. Why does that matter? Gary quotes the opinion of motivational speaker Jim Rohn that each of us ‘rise to the average of the five people we spend the most time with’. In other words, if those closest to a 70 year old are in ‘negative older age mode’ that 70 year old is likely to get infected with the same attitude. That’s why Gary encourages his fellow septuagenarians to seek the company of those ‘unafraid of change, with insatiable curiosity, and big thinking’ – which is more likely to be found in those in the generations coming up behind. By doing so, he says, ‘We’ll be able to grow and learn from their creativity and energy and also to help guide them with our acquired wisdom and experience.’ 2. Avoid the retirement trap The ‘retirement trap’, explains Gary, is the belief that life after work should offer endless leisure and rest. A belief that we are born to eventually make the transition from ‘vocation to vacation’ – a concept dreamed up by politicians to free up jobs for those younger and by marketers to relieve us of our money. He argues that ‘retirement doesn’t exist in nature nor did it exist anywhere on the planet 150 years ago. It’s a Euro-American concept that doesn’t exist in many countries, some of which can claim the longest-living citizens’. By avoiding the retirement trap we escape the implication that ‘winding down’ is better than staying in growth mode. As Gary would remind us, we are given only two choices with our bodies and brains – grow or decay. And that ‘retirement’ – a word derived from the French ‘retirer’ meaning retreat or go backward – can too easily put us on the decay path. I like Gary’s list of ‘the fruits of traditional, leisure-based retirement’ – none of which are life-enhancing. To express them in my own words they are – • Increased separation from stimulating company – a major life limiter. • A more sedentary lifestyle – despite best intentions, most retirees fail to do the exercise needed to keep in good health. • The risk of self-indulgence – though we are ‘wired to serve’ it’s easy to drift into ‘I’ve earned the right to put myself at the centre of my choices’. • Losing work from our lifestyle – with meaningful and productive activity being a key factor in living longer. 3. Avoid drifting Who would think of trying to travel in a strange country without some kind of road map and a plan? Yet that’s what vast numbers do when exiting full time work for a new territory where they could spend the next 20 to 40 years. As a result, Gary asserts, many end up drifting. Even those who have a financial plan may have no clear roadmap that takes account of the mental, physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual sides of life in this unexplored land. This can end up with people drifting without a clear and fulfilling purpose. With their circumstances and the expectations of others becoming the driving force – taking them on a path to accelerated deterioration. Gary notes the view of the business coach Dan Sullivan who says, ‘People die early for three reasons: No money. No friends. No purpose’. On this basis, a healthy and fulfilling life in our 70s demands a plan, a sense of purpose, and a direction. Without this, warns Gary, ‘we waste the talents, skills, experience, and energy that still resides in us as 70-year olds. And that’s close to being criminal’. To see more from Gary Foster check out his website here. How do these 3 things to avoid strike you? Do you have some of your own to contribute? Please tell all either here or on the AfterWorkNet Facebook community Peter Meadows Peter is AfterWorkNet’s Programme Director. He’s using his retirement to help churches, resource inter-church initiatives, and escapes to Spain when he can. He doesn’t have a garden.
This article makes some interesting points, but I also found it quite irritating because it is preoccupied only with what one should avoid. I think that’s a bit one-sided. It would have been more useful and encouraging if it had also covered the positive things one should embrace. Maybe these could be covered in a complementary article? Reply
Thanks Kevin, if you look back over our past blogs I hope you would find lots of positive things to embrace. And there will be many more to come. Reply
oh…. this first thing to avoid… absolutely.. I live in a HUD building for seniors .. and age starts .. at 62!!!! I am surrounded by people … who are waiting for their next .. big event .. their death. … one bad knee… and all they do .. is complain… watch TV. play bingo… they some of them.. are as addicted to their cell phones as their grandchildren… and they read … well, the Bible and the latest junk fiction. not a scholar no r artistic type among them.. even most of the few who used to have good jobs careers.. are sitting in storage here. society is only too willing to assist.. especially for the poor. thank you. I have never heard this addressed so plainly so clearly so honestly… but my dearest friend is … different… and I’m grateful for that. and lucky. they call this a community. it is not my community … I live in a world of creativity .. and ideas… I cant contribute much.. physically I am in severe decline with ankolosis sponalytis I am only 72 but I live in severe pain and can barely stand.. I’m typing with one finger …but its a lovely little finger… and .. sir.. you made my day. oh , perhaps, my week.thank you. I wish I could forward this article to my bestie. vrm Reply
Thanks for your great response. To share with others just copy this link into an email https://www.afterworknet.com/what-3-things-should-every-70-year-old-avoid-if-they-want-to-flourish/ Reply
I am 80 yrs old and male. I’ve exercised most of my life riding my bike, doing yoga, swimming laps three times a week and walking.People don’t think I’m as old as I am but I’m facing a big health issue which I think is arthritis in both my hands. I see my GP at the end of the week to have it confirmed. I went from zero to extreme pain in a week. Hopefully my GP can give me some meds to manage this unexpected and scary development. My advice to people of a similar age is to not stop exercising and have plenty of social contact especially with those that exercise with you. Iforgot to say I also do weights in a class. Cheers Hamish
Thank you for creatively sharing your words of wisdom Michaela. I too agree with the words of wisdom from Peter Meadows. I just turned 68 and have graduated from a University course recently for the first time as I hope to research and do creative writing. It’s my new purpose which I was forced into when work opportunities reduced. I try to be as physical as I can as often as I can and I too have concerns about so called retirement ‘communities’ which are a construct invented by entities which stand to make large profits. After all a community is any group of people with things in common. They are not just places. I hope your precious typing fingers are still going strong and I thank you for sharing. Reply
This is so true, waiting to expire. All they do is sit, sleep and try to poop, constipated mind and body. I force myself to move, keep mind active, we all will go the way said David, Joseph, most people in the Bible. I’ve asked the Lord to take me when my usefulness is gone. But right now I’m joyful, walk Long distance, ride bike, play tennis off a wall, l have to do it alone. 76 yes young in every way, planning on keeping foster children. Reply
How do all the other 70 plus gentlemen like myself keep their balance ? I can’t even balance on one foot for a half minute. Reply
I am 75, I have struggle a lot in life to make money to provide to my family as sole-breadwinner. Now I am fine and living happily with my wife. Never use such words as “I am 65 and still alive”. Look forward on what you can do before you reach 100. Whatever life you go thru, I believe it’s your daily habits that makes you persistent, perseverance, self-discipline from early days helps tremendously in your health output. Positive believe in yourself and active always follows by good daily health habits. When in your 70’s and beyond 90’s it’s your mind-set and daily good healthy habits. Keeps you strong in mind and body. Believe me, my mind is strong enough to look forward to reach 100’s or beyond. Why think of retirement when you’re good in your health all because of your positive and daily life-style. I am always learning new project in order not to lose the trend and now the artificial intelligence. Just do what you practically can. It’s never the end of the world for your personal believe on daily health habits. Thank you. Reply
for better balance, PRACTICE. There are many opportunities during the normal to practice your balance, alternating feet, e.g. waiting in line, waiting for the microwave to warm your coffee/food. Start short and work your way up. practice balance putting on your pants, etc. Good luck Reply
Put on some music. Dance around, in every way you can think of. Do some kicks, but mostly focus on dance. Also, do stretching. Everything you can think of (check the reliable web) to get more flexibility into the lower body especially, standing and lying down. Balance and flexibility are linked, as I discovered. That is excellent for balance, but add some strengthening too, which adds to the mix, and will be useful if you fall- I do pushups, resistance bands, and chin ups for the upper body. I’ve made some great improvements, and consider this, along with a healthy diet, my main ‘job’ since retiring. Reply
Dear sir, Just keep practicing every day and little by little, your balance will improve! Even a few seconds of balancing is key to the beginning of progress! Good luck, and be well! Reply
Download the App called Nymbl. It’s got fun exercises to do that’ll help with you balance. Cheers, Marilyn Reply
I’m 70 I walk just over 5ks every normal morning I don’t go looking for people I do like my with dog not a social butterfly and I’m happy and healthy Reply
I am 75 and I believe everyone needs a plan, a purpose and a destination. Balancing your life is never easy, even when you are young and devoting your time to work and family. So, when children grow up, friends die, and health changes you must make a new plan, find a new purpose and know where you are going. All of that requires you to re evaluate where you are and determine what works for you NOW. Those activities, hobbies, plans and destinations can happen if you are realistic. Too many seniors, give up on new plans and sit in their chairs driven by feeling old and cut off from activities available to them. For me, I want to plan, because it is my life and only I can find purpose in that life and determine what destination is right for me. When I stop planning and doing and learning, I will die. When I was young I imagined that in my 90’s I would take people to their appointments, assist seniors with health care needs, and organizing their taxes. Now, I think I would rather help them visit museums, work on hobbies, like bird watching, and working with local gardens, and animal shelters. Don’t just let your life happen or allow others to drop you off at a senior day care, surrounded by other old people. That is a death trap and you encouraging your final destination and death. Your are in charge of the plan. Reply
I agree, I think instead of all that doom & gloom, why not add something to look forward to , some idea to help seniors stay motivated. Reply
(1)I agree that being sucked into conversations regarding health, one’s own or that of others, can drag one down. Occasionally contribute, but only very, very occasionally. As I’m married to someone descended some hundred years ago from Viking stock I have no chance of slowing down at 86! (2)We enjoy gardening even the more physically demanding jobs: lopping branches, preparing/mowing 2 lawns, growing 10/12 different fruits and 10/12 different vegetables. Our physical habits are based on variants from our youth; my wife tennis/hockey, myself middle/long distance athletics. Both of us fellwalkers in our beloved Lake District. (3) IHS (In His Service) as a vicar I sought to avoid the expectations of others; a habit still practiced! Reply
It was enlightening. I am 77 single. Vegan chef. Retired Teacher. Was a little perplexed about my late 70’s , but I do feel a little better after time (reading) thxs. Shukriyyah Reply
I appreciate your enthusiasm for life and using it for a healthy life. I too serve the Lord at age 68, asking regularly to show me his will and the ability to carry it out… energy flows in the midst of God’s will! Though I live with disease and chronic pain I choose to celebrate life and I surprise myself daily through pacing, choosing spiritual, physical & mental growth! Reply
I’ll try and remember all these in 3 1/2 years time. Meanwhile, there are lots of volunteering opportunities and needs to suit anyone’s abilities and skills. Reply
May I recommend one positive thing? Try at all times to look for the funny side of everything. At 70 now I find this continues to be a very sustaining part of my life. I’m helped by the genes associated with the comic interests of my father/grandfather and ggrandfather/ggrandmother re comic film/panto and pearly king suit/comic acting. (My ggrandfather and his wife even have their own websites like all 3,000 members of the D’Oyly Carte.) I’ve even mixed this with a [conservative evangelical-based] theology I’ve been developing (Critical Postliberalism) which in part relies on perspectives encouraging us to be able to laugh at ourselves. I wonder what Ernest and Marie Heather would have thought? 🙂 https://www.gsarchive.net/whowaswho/H/HeatherMarie.htm https://www.gsarchive.net/whowaswho/L/LynneFrank.htm Reply
I took up sport 4 days per week. 2 mornings playing tennis for up to 2 hours with similar aged people. 1 morning playing walking Football organised by AFC Bournemouth and I day playing golf. I also was very careful with food portion control. I also belong to my church walking group and we walk in the countryside twice a week. When I visit my son in France who is a carpenter/ joiner I have been able to work over 40 hours per week because I have kept fit. I am also heavily involved with my local church and community activities. Keeping fit has been great fun and very rewarding. Reply
Very good advice. I have often thought this and this piece has helped to clarify it. At 78 I am still active, running housegroup, street evangelism, tennis, swimming, gardening. TV can be a killer if you are just watching any old thing. May God keep us on His path right up until the end. Reply
I am a 72 years old and I have been a business woman all my life and kept going the same as 40 years ago. I do not think that 72 is the old age if you don’t have a major illness. Making money and working and enjoying portion of the money you make the way you like keep you independent and occupied. Reply
I am always amused by people who are in their 60’s and think of themselves as old aged. At 72 you can probably do much as you did at 40. I just turned 80 and very excited about it. I have a lot to look forward to. My take on retirement is that it is wonderful.. I retired at 65 and feel my life started then. So much to do and see. Since then I have become a docent at the art gallery, joined a concert band, learned to play pickleball, traveled Central America, Africa, Asia, and Eastern Europe, married for the first time, learned to play bridge and much more. What is not to like about retirement? It”s all attitude. Reply
I have spinal stenosis too. I am 73. Planned to go to real estate school at start of 2024. But then needed/had shoulder replacement surgery in Feb. Ok now, but decided to do body repair: had cyst removal lower back, current dental replacement work, spinal ablation (soon), nasal procedure so I can breath better, going to therapy for back issues, and when weather is cold I’ll have foot surgery. I have to wait for dormant grass growing season for foot surgery because I mow my larger than average yard and the 3 lots I own next door to me. God willing, I’ll start real estate school in Jan. 2025, then I’ll be 74. Please never give up! Reply
Congratulations Despite various things going on with me I aim to be doing the same Well done you Keep it up Reply
Wow! You are a tough one! Gives me some incentive to get off my backside and start doing something LOL best of luck! Reply
Don’t retire if you love your job and you can reduce the hours. I’m valued because I am the continuity and institutional “memory” of what works, doesn’t. I’m grateful and filled with curiosity every work day. Reply
I tried “retiring” twice in my early 60’s but found life boring and I was constantly looking for things to do. I am single with 2 small dogs and I golf. I decided to go back to work and at 71 am still working 3 days a week, golfing at least twice a week and doing small handy-man jobs when needed. I have found being active the most rewarding experience of all while also allowing me to still feel appreciated. Also continuing to earn extra income really helps eliminate anxiety over the debilitating thoughts of “never having enough”. Life goes on so you may as well contribute as best you can. Reply
I’m a72 yr old disabled wheelchair bound female. I fully intend to live my next 15 appointed years. In my situation I am housebound much of the time. I decided long ago not to stagnate. Having worked all my life I have Social Security Disability to help me. So I determined to keep my mind active at all costs. Social media filled a void I needed to do that. I created groups of things I was interested in and recruited followers. I’m on several platforms and have thousands of them scattered throughout. I manage to stay very busy. I cook. I live with my daughter and teenage grandson. Being around younger people is a blessing I believe. We laugh a lot together and my grandson made me promise to live to 90. He said he wants me to tell all the family stories to his kids someday. This was before our political climate got so controversial though. So 90 it is.. I have stories to remember and high hopes for better Disability services in the future. Never giving up is a big part of living. Reply
Love this mindset. I am 73, married 48 years, mother of 3, gramma of 7. I play National competitive senior tennis, play pickle ball, surf with grandkids, bike, swim, work out in gym weight training, kayak……don’t stop moving. Keep doing what you love to do and with all ages. There is always something for you. Reply
I’m about to retire although I currently work in retail 3 days per week. I physically find it more demanding and no longer enjoy the customers today to be honest. I intend keeping up with my swimming 4-5 times per week, traveling, long walks, babysitting grandchildren and numerous hobbies. I shall shun all media coverage of care homes, wills, dementia and everything depressing that stops me from enjoying myself! Reply
Hi everybody Good thing I checked in on this site. I’m 71 and making plans for my second kidney transplant. I walk every morning and do dialysis three days a week. And I love to sew… I retired at 68. Now I am a widow. Thinking about learning a new skill ribbon embroidery at the quilt shop. Glad I found this group. Always keep busy! Reply
I enjoyed reading the comments from seniors. I’m a 72 year old senior., who always tells seniors, stop saying you’re old.; Say “ I’m young at heart.” I’m a retired teacher, who is now a substitute teacher . I was married for 33 years, but a widow now with a gentlemen friend.. I feel having a few close friends, stay connected with family, stay active doing things you enjoy , eat healthy and thank God for your blessings. . That makes retirement life fun. Reply
I enjoyed reading what people are doing to keep busy since retired. I am fortunately in excellent health at 71 and like to stay active. Every day I walk on treadmill and outdoors if weather permits (2+ hrs per day). I feel much younger than I am and think that staying active is important. My husband still works but we have an RV and enjoy short camping trips. I enjoy keeping in touch with friends and family and think it helps one stay young. In fact, most of my friends are younger! Reply
I agree wholeheartedly! Why should “retirement” be mandatory? I am fast approaching the big “8-oh”, and am as busy and active as I was 40 years ago. In fact, except for my speed and a few aches, I barely realize the time span. My husband and I still pastor a small church with a mixed aged congregation. I ememployed by an agency for providing total care of a handicapped son. I am also a contributing writer for a well known magazine . Yes, we are doting great grandparents and still host all the large family gatherings. We are still wildly in love with each other, having celebrated our 61st anniversary. We are grateful for health, sanity and the ability to share our blessings with others. Our financial portfolio is skimpy, but we are thankful, everyday, for the intangible riches we have. Old age can be challenging, in itself, without the loomimg shroud of uselessness and the constant reminder of the inevitable “countdown”. Your non-retirement advise needs to be shouted from the house tops. Reply
I am 82 love technology. Walk my dog , speak on phone everyday to my friend, still drive love going shopping . In All I love life. Mow my laws still love gardening. What more ca n I want. Reply
I am a 73 year old male, and a firm believer in exercise and keeping busy. I live alone, and my daughter lives with me occasionally. I walk briskly every morning for 45 minutes and do between 200 – 300 sit-ups daily. I work part time out of need and to primarily have a purpose. I am very healthy and rarely become ill. I take no medications. I try to eat healthy – no alcohol, tobacco and recreational drugs. In conclusion, I can’t stress enough the importance of exercise for all the right reasons for body and mind. Reply
I’m seventy five – everyone thinks I’m seventy – I don’t know why, guess they were guessing! I play tennis three times a week – I dread getting reading and climbing the hill to the courts but once there I am so pleased. I have atrial fibrillation but am fine on the flat. I recently bought a rowing machine, for all over and cardiac workout and am thrilled with it. Can hop on and off as I like. I even find it relieves stress and I feel I’ve done something. Keep moving and also a gratitude journal, you’d be surprised at how much one has to be grateful for!! Reply
This is Susie and I enjoy it listening to all of my younger friends I’m younger now as well and you have really caused me to take a different look at my young age and what I can and cannot do I’ve always been acting but I’ve been diagnosed with lumbar stenosis but I’m still able to drive myself around not far but I can drive I can do everything I’ve always done for myself but my steps are slow now I know you understand being younger do that to you but God is good he keep telling me the best is yet to come and I believe him even today at the grocery store I brought my own groceries to my car and put them in there myself even though there were times when I would ask for help but I feel pretty good today and I was able to do this on my own and God is good like I said to begin with when I drove up to my house I was getting ready to bring my groceries in the young man from my church haven’t seen him in a minute he hollered at me hey how you doing let me get that for you he said so he brought them in the groceries that is and he asked several times are you sure you don’t need anything else and I told him no all is well I’m good so you see there’s always someone that give a helping hand if you need it but I’ve enjoyed listening to my young sisters and brothers and we going to keep up the good work you really encourage me Reply
It has taken me six years of retirement to finally lose the driving need to prove my worth. Turning 70 helped, and experiencing some physical decline has forced me to slow down. Now I enjoy leisurely long mornings, plan to make all appointments in the afternoon, have time to go for long, long walks in the woods and have a whole day to recover, and to do the homemaking things I love, cooking, cleaning and sewing. I don’t miss work, paid or volunteer. Reply
I somehow found this topic. Being open hearted. Being creative, I compose music and write poetry. Having beautiful conversations about what truly matters. Making love every day. Prayer. Consistent movement and dancing. We can offer more at this moment than in our entire life behind us. We have years of life, grew up with amazing music. Cat Steven’s, Carole King, Beatles, etc. We were the last generation to not have cell phones. Having said that, we could have groups that meet to talk and share, even have activities together. Many of us desire true community. I would love to begin a group. With people that wish to love and give fully. Not in fear and superficial behavior. I also watch films from all over the world. My favorite film is It’s a Wonderful Life. I met Jimmy Stewart and we had a long talk. He was present and kind. Two great films are The Italian, ( which is a Russian film Another is The Hairdresser’s Husband, a French film. Listen to Helena Bonham Carter discussing things on YouTube. What perplexes me most is that as people age, they hold back. To truly find emotional riches, we can look in each other’s eyes and say hello. It is very simple. Love is now. Does anyone else desire true community ? Reply
Some of this advice is questionable at best. Especially the part about avoiding other people your age. Yes, some of our peers in our 60s and 70 can be boring, depressing and negative but don’t think that hanging around younger people is always the answer to your fear of aging issued. That’s just vampiric. The truth is to them, YOU are “old, depressing, negative, and boring” no matter how desperately you try to appear younger and optimistic. Don’t be in denial. No one stays 25 forever. Reply
WOW. WOW WOW. WOW.!!☆ VERY ENLIGHTING!!!! MOST OF MY FRIENDS, MAY AGE, HAVE DIED.!!!! THEY WERE ALL THE “HEALTHY ONES!!” I AM A MERE 71 LADY, IF YOU MUST KNOW. Reply
OMG I FOUND THIS WONDERFUL, A NOTE WITH IDEAS, ONLINE THAT I ENJOYED. I WOULD SAY, “WELL DONE PEOPLE.!*” THANKYOU ALL.!!! Reply
I came across this accidentally as usual I was side tracked and read on which I a truly thankful.I am 72 and always been life and soul of the party,but in the last 9 years things have gone down hill mentally and physically, won’t go into detail as this is just my comment . enjoyed reading all the comments.Lorraine xx Reply
I feel blessed I will be 80 in July, we owned a restaurant for 11 years until I was 72 after working other jobs for years while raising 4 daughters and up until buying own business. Have rental homes that I do much of the painting when needed. I lead a group of 10 or more children in Bible study weekly and VBS. We live on a farm but husband not in good health so had to sell our cattle that I helped with. My physical health is great but I have started to forget things that does scare me I really have to stop a think how old I am because i just think I can do anything I need to. Blessings to all who are reading our comments . Reply
Very interesting. I ‘retired’ 3 years ago and went back to work a year after. I work with an age range of 20-58. Absolutely love it. I still have interests in my house, garden and my appearance. My partner and I also walk a lot and he’s gone back to work too. Loving life. Reply
