What 3 things should every 70 year old avoid if they want to flourish? Posted on June 19, 2020June 19, 2020 by Peter Meadows There are three things no one in their 70s should do to make the best of their years. All three may surprise you. And all three matter. So if you are already past that big birthday, or heading in that direction, here’s some wisdom. But I need to confess it’s not mine but comes from the mind of Retirement and Career Coach Gary Foster. I’m sharing it, first, because it makes sense and, second, in the hope you will not only benefit but check out more of Gary’s rich thinking. You’ll find a link to his blog at the end of this one. What are those three things to shun like the plague when 70 hits you? Gary is an outspoken advocate for living to 100 or beyond – having set his target at 112 ½. So he’s worth listening to and here they come. 1. Avoid most other 70-year olds. Gary admits, ‘That sounds cruel’. And it does because most people in their 70s have a circle of similarly-aged friends they love and cherish. But he backs his view with reason. He points out that many, if not most, 70-year-olds are innocently in the ‘decay mode’ – in terms of their attitude to life and the way their body works. And with that comes a resignation and acceptance of what he calls ‘the myths of automatic senescence and accelerating physical decline’. Or, to put this in my kind of English, too many in their 70s have fallen for the false belief that age offers no choice but to accept the gradual decay of our faculties’. As evidence Gary points to the fact that conversations are often limited to the subjects of health, memory or friends impacted by the same. And talk seldom covers how to maintain and celebrate good health and counter decline with wise practices that should always have been in place. Why does that matter? Gary quotes the opinion of motivational speaker Jim Rohn that each of us ‘rise to the average of the five people we spend the most time with’. In other words, if those closest to a 70 year old are in ‘negative older age mode’ that 70 year old is likely to get infected with the same attitude. That’s why Gary encourages his fellow septuagenarians to seek the company of those ‘unafraid of change, with insatiable curiosity, and big thinking’ – which is more likely to be found in those in the generations coming up behind. By doing so, he says, ‘We’ll be able to grow and learn from their creativity and energy and also to help guide them with our acquired wisdom and experience.’ 2. Avoid the retirement trap The ‘retirement trap’, explains Gary, is the belief that life after work should offer endless leisure and rest. A belief that we are born to eventually make the transition from ‘vocation to vacation’ – a concept dreamed up by politicians to free up jobs for those younger and by marketers to relieve us of our money. He argues that ‘retirement doesn’t exist in nature nor did it exist anywhere on the planet 150 years ago. It’s a Euro-American concept that doesn’t exist in many countries, some of which can claim the longest-living citizens’. By avoiding the retirement trap we escape the implication that ‘winding down’ is better than staying in growth mode. As Gary would remind us, we are given only two choices with our bodies and brains – grow or decay. And that ‘retirement’ – a word derived from the French ‘retirer’ meaning retreat or go backward – can too easily put us on the decay path. I like Gary’s list of ‘the fruits of traditional, leisure-based retirement’ – none of which are life-enhancing. To express them in my own words they are – • Increased separation from stimulating company – a major life limiter. • A more sedentary lifestyle – despite best intentions, most retirees fail to do the exercise needed to keep in good health. • The risk of self-indulgence – though we are ‘wired to serve’ it’s easy to drift into ‘I’ve earned the right to put myself at the centre of my choices’. • Losing work from our lifestyle – with meaningful and productive activity being a key factor in living longer. 3. Avoid drifting Who would think of trying to travel in a strange country without some kind of road map and a plan? Yet that’s what vast numbers do when exiting full time work for a new territory where they could spend the next 20 to 40 years. As a result, Gary asserts, many end up drifting. Even those who have a financial plan may have no clear roadmap that takes account of the mental, physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual sides of life in this unexplored land. This can end up with people drifting without a clear and fulfilling purpose. With their circumstances and the expectations of others becoming the driving force – taking them on a path to accelerated deterioration. Gary notes the view of the business coach Dan Sullivan who says, ‘People die early for three reasons: No money. No friends. No purpose’. On this basis, a healthy and fulfilling life in our 70s demands a plan, a sense of purpose, and a direction. Without this, warns Gary, ‘we waste the talents, skills, experience, and energy that still resides in us as 70-year olds. And that’s close to being criminal’. To see more from Gary Foster check out his website here. How do these 3 things to avoid strike you? Do you have some of your own to contribute? Please tell all either here or on the AfterWorkNet Facebook community Peter Meadows Peter is AfterWorkNet’s Programme Director. He’s using his retirement to help churches, resource inter-church initiatives, and escapes to Spain when he can. He doesn’t have a garden.
This article makes some interesting points, but I also found it quite irritating because it is preoccupied only with what one should avoid. I think that’s a bit one-sided. It would have been more useful and encouraging if it had also covered the positive things one should embrace. Maybe these could be covered in a complementary article? Reply
Thanks Kevin, if you look back over our past blogs I hope you would find lots of positive things to embrace. And there will be many more to come. Reply
How do all the other 70 plus gentlemen like myself keep their balance ? I can’t even balance on one foot for a half minute. Reply
(1)I agree that being sucked into conversations regarding health, one’s own or that of others, can drag one down. Occasionally contribute, but only very, very occasionally. As I’m married to someone descended some hundred years ago from Viking stock I have no chance of slowing down at 86! (2)We enjoy gardening even the more physically demanding jobs: lopping branches, preparing/mowing 2 lawns, growing 10/12 different fruits and 10/12 different vegetables. Our physical habits are based on variants from our youth; my wife tennis/hockey, myself middle/long distance athletics. Both of us fellwalkers in our beloved Lake District. (3) IHS (In His Service) as a vicar I sought to avoid the expectations of others; a habit still practiced! Reply
It was enlightening. I am 77 single. Vegan chef. Retired Teacher. Was a little perplexed about my late 70’s , but I do feel a little better after time (reading) thxs. Shukriyyah Reply
I appreciate your enthusiasm for life and using it for a healthy life. I too serve the Lord at age 68, asking regularly to show me his will and the ability to carry it out… energy flows in the midst of God’s will! Though I live with disease and chronic pain I choose to celebrate life and I surprise myself daily through pacing, choosing spiritual, physical & mental growth! Reply
I’ll try and remember all these in 3 1/2 years time. Meanwhile, there are lots of volunteering opportunities and needs to suit anyone’s abilities and skills. Reply
May I recommend one positive thing? Try at all times to look for the funny side of everything. At 70 now I find this continues to be a very sustaining part of my life. I’m helped by the genes associated with the comic interests of my father/grandfather and ggrandfather/ggrandmother re comic film/panto and pearly king suit/comic acting. (My ggrandfather and his wife even have their own websites like all 3,000 members of the D’Oyly Carte.) I’ve even mixed this with a [conservative evangelical-based] theology I’ve been developing (Critical Postliberalism) which in part relies on perspectives encouraging us to be able to laugh at ourselves. I wonder what Ernest and Marie Heather would have thought? 🙂 https://www.gsarchive.net/whowaswho/H/HeatherMarie.htm https://www.gsarchive.net/whowaswho/L/LynneFrank.htm Reply
I took up sport 4 days per week. 2 mornings playing tennis for up to 2 hours with similar aged people. 1 morning playing walking Football organised by AFC Bournemouth and I day playing golf. I also was very careful with food portion control. I also belong to my church walking group and we walk in the countryside twice a week. When I visit my son in France who is a carpenter/ joiner I have been able to work over 40 hours per week because I have kept fit. I am also heavily involved with my local church and community activities. Keeping fit has been great fun and very rewarding. Reply
Very good advice. I have often thought this and this piece has helped to clarify it. At 78 I am still active, running housegroup, street evangelism, tennis, swimming, gardening. TV can be a killer if you are just watching any old thing. May God keep us on His path right up until the end. Reply
I am a 72 years old and I have been a business woman all my life and kept going the same as 40 years ago. I do not think that 72 is the old age if you don’t have a major illness. Making money and working and enjoying portion of the money you make the way you like keep you independent and occupied. Reply
I have spinal stenosis too. I am 73. Planned to go to real estate school at start of 2024. But then needed/had shoulder replacement surgery in Feb. Ok now, but decided to do body repair: had cyst removal lower back, current dental replacement work, spinal ablation (soon), nasal procedure so I can breath better, going to therapy for back issues, and when weather is cold I’ll have foot surgery. I have to wait for dormant grass growing season for foot surgery because I mow my larger than average yard and the 3 lots I own next door to me. God willing, I’ll start real estate school in Jan. 2025, then I’ll be 74. Please never give up! Reply
Congratulations Despite various things going on with me I aim to be doing the same Well done you Keep it up Reply
Wow! You are a tough one! Gives me some incentive to get off my backside and start doing something LOL best of luck! Reply
Don’t retire if you love your job and you can reduce the hours. I’m valued because I am the continuity and institutional “memory” of what works, doesn’t. I’m grateful and filled with curiosity every work day. Reply
I tried “retiring” twice in my early 60’s but found life boring and I was constantly looking for things to do. I am single with 2 small dogs and I golf. I decided to go back to work and at 71 am still working 3 days a week, golfing at least twice a week and doing small handy-man jobs when needed. I have found being active the most rewarding experience of all while also allowing me to still feel appreciated. Also continuing to earn extra income really helps eliminate anxiety over the debilitating thoughts of “never having enough”. Life goes on so you may as well contribute as best you can. Reply
I’m a72 yr old disabled wheelchair bound female. I fully intend to live my next 15 appointed years. In my situation I am housebound much of the time. I decided long ago not to stagnate. Having worked all my life I have Social Security Disability to help me. So I determined to keep my mind active at all costs. Social media filled a void I needed to do that. I created groups of things I was interested in and recruited followers. I’m on several platforms and have thousands of them scattered throughout. I manage to stay very busy. I cook. I live with my daughter and teenage grandson. Being around younger people is a blessing I believe. We laugh a lot together and my grandson made me promise to live to 90. He said he wants me to tell all the family stories to his kids someday. This was before our political climate got so controversial though. So 90 it is.. I have stories to remember and high hopes for better Disability services in the future. Never giving up is a big part of living. Reply
Love this mindset. I am 73, married 48 years, mother of 3, gramma of 7. I play National competitive senior tennis, play pickle ball, surf with grandkids, bike, swim, work out in gym weight training, kayak……don’t stop moving. Keep doing what you love to do and with all ages. There is always something for you. Reply
I’m about to retire although I currently work in retail 3 days per week. I physically find it more demanding and no longer enjoy the customers today to be honest. I intend keeping up with my swimming 4-5 times per week, traveling, long walks, babysitting grandchildren and numerous hobbies. I shall shun all media coverage of care homes, wills, dementia and everything depressing that stops me from enjoying myself! Reply
Hi everybody Good thing I checked in on this site. I’m 71 and making plans for my second kidney transplant. I walk every morning and do dialysis three days a week. And I love to sew… I retired at 68. Now I am a widow. Thinking about learning a new skill ribbon embroidery at the quilt shop. Glad I found this group. Always keep busy! Reply
I enjoyed reading the comments from seniors. I’m a 72 year old senior., who always tells seniors, stop saying you’re old.; Say “ I’m young at heart.” I’m a retired teacher, who is now a substitute teacher . I was married for 33 years, but a widow now with a gentlemen friend.. I feel having a few close friends, stay connected with family, stay active doing things you enjoy , eat healthy and thank God for your blessings. . That makes retirement life fun. Reply
